We Keep Each Other Safe

“One evening, we were all gathered in my grandmother’s courtyard. We agreed that if the Janjaweed attacked, we would all go to the river and drown ourselves. We agreed to tie something heavy around us so that we wouldn’t try to get out of the water. Today they did it.”

These are the words of a Sudanese survivor, words that echo the desperation and terror that so many women live with around the world. Her family faced such terror, such relentless violence, that they made a choice no one should ever have to make. Her words remind us of a brutal truth: for so many women, violence is not abstract; it is intimate, pervasive, and deadly.

Here in Canada, December 6 marks the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women—a day to remember the 14 women killed at École Polytechnique in 1989. That attack, an act of femicide, is a Canadian scar, a brutal reminder of how deeply violence against women can wound.

In my culture, publicly grieving the dead is an act of resistance to the erasure of these lives, each one unique and irreplaceable, each one a world of potential cut short. Often we repeat, “defend the dead” as a reminder and prayer to not repeat the past.

November 20, the Trans Day of Remembrance, is another sombre call to remember lives lost to violence. Transgender individuals, especially trans women of colour, are all too often targeted by brutal violence, facing daily threats and systemic oppression that can make survival itself a courageous act. Honouring these lives and this day calls on each of us to recognise the intersecting forces that place racialized trans women at such great risk and to commit to creating a world where no one is killed for simply existing.

From Sudan to our own communities, violence targets the most vulnerable. Gender-based violence crosses all borders, touching lives in the streets of Khartoum and Toronto alike. Our collective responsibility is to remember those we have lost without ever allowing this mourning to dull our commitment to change.

As we honour those lives over the next couple of weeks, we must turn our attention to the young people in our communities. They are also burdened by this violence, inheriting a world where fear can feel as constant as gravity. For youth just beginning to navigate their identities, relationships, and dreams, the weight of violence is crushing. They deserve more; they deserve a world where they can thrive without fear, a world where love and respect are a given.

At Planned Parenthood Toronto, we envision a future free from sexualized and gendered violence for every young person. This future demands our action—committing to prevention, challenging harmful norms, and offering compassionate education on healthy relationships. Supporting youth in building lives free from violence is a way to honour those who are no longer with us and to protect those coming of age today.

In this season of remembrance, may we hold close the memory of those Sudanese women who made a choice that no one should ever have to make, and let the memory of their life be our guide. We say unequivocally: no more violence. Youth deserve lives rooted in safety, dignity, and love—a future free from violence.

We must keep each other safe. Today and every day after.

Lali Mohamed

Director of Development & Communications